2nd Session

Life has been crazy. I have not had any opportunity to have a second session, even though it's now getting close to a month since our first session. (Actually, it might be more than that by now.) However, we're about to leave town in just under a week, and we'll be gone for over two weeks; until nearly New Year's Eve. The reason for the trip is my son's wedding out of state, but after that, we're going to remain out of state (at my in-laws big house, mostly) until we leave town in the week between Christmas and New Years. I will be bringing my "D&D kit" in its big canvas backpack, with my books, dice, and all that jazz along with me, and hopefully we'll knock out at least a couple of sessions while we're out of town. We don't actually have a ton of plans, although I'm sure that we'll end up doing plenty of things while we're out there, but I'm sure we'll also have plenty of time sitting around looking at each other. It'd be nice to have something besides "let's watch another Hallmark movie" or "let's go see some ridiculous Hollywood offering" or "let's go to the mall" available to do.

What I'd like to do when I get home, is continue with the 5x5s, and start fleshing out CULT OF UNDEATH.

In the meantime, I feel like the only fantasy I feel is the fantasy of some free time especially out west in the bright cold sun of a Wyoming (or Montana, or Colorado, or Utah, or Idaho or even New Mexico or Arizona) winter's day in the wilderness, the horror is the horror of whatever fire is going to happen at work on top of all of the other manufactured fires that I already am juggling, and the only madness is caused by the horror of work. Sigh. At least I can post a picture of someplace I'd love to be, even if I can't actually be there right now.

I'm grateful to this job which came along so quickly after being laid off in 2022, and it does pay me pretty well. But it doesn't treat me very well, and I'm feeling a lot of burnout already. In this, sadly, I'm not alone in my family. I've heard a lot from my youngest son about his frustration with work, I'm sure my other younger son is also frustrated with work and investigating a new job. My daughter has had lots of work woes, although the good news for her is that the main source of most of those woes is leaving in a few days, so brighter days ahead for her, hopefully. And my oldest son just quit work to finish his Masters (which he's just done in the last couple of weeks) and has been interviewing for a new job.

A side effect of my layoff is that my retirement plan, which was heavily dependent on the expected value of my pension, will not be realized. I still have a pension, but it will be considerably less than I expected it to be because I didn't get to thirty years seniority, where it plateaus; I was laid off with 22 years. Blegh. Of course, I also didn't save as much as I probably should have; because I thought my pension was going to be better. My 401(k) on the other hand, is pretty skimpy given that my pension rug was pulled out from under me and I'm already over 50. I'll probably have to work quite a bit longer than I hoped. And, given the broken housing market, I'm probably stuck where I am. I had thought that once we became empty nesters (again) I could maybe find some retirement part time work out west, either working for the Church or for the National Park Service, or something, not only to keep me busy but also to supplement my retirement income. Maybe that's still an option, if housing crashes and I can bail on my Midwest house and move somewhere better.

Anyway, a somewhat melancholy post, I know, about banal yet frustrating and worrisome personal issues. I've joked but not really joking told my kids that they'll probably have to have us move in with them when I'm finally too old to work. Sadly, that might actually end up being true. Or maybe that's not so sad. With the exception of the Boomer generation and one or two other generations, that was just what you did; extended family stuck together and took care of their young, elderly and infirm. Maybe I should recognize that the situation that I planned for was a societal anomaly, never seen before or probably since. And by combining my 401(k), my pension, and social security, maybe that's a benefit to the kids who take us in, as we can help finance their dreams too, which are otherwise increasingly unobtainable to people of their generation.

UPDATE: Work has been more tolerable these last few days than I anticipated. I might actually glide relatively easily into vacation. Which... starts tomorrow right after work. I have to drive 6 hours after work before the evening is done, and then another long day after that. However, after that, I actually ease into the stuff that I'm leaving for, i.e., my son's wedding out of state.

I'll be working remotely a few days of the week before Christmas, but we'll see how busy the week before Christmas actually ends up being...