Monday, June 20, 2022

On the perils of unfortunate association

I was somewhere with my wife this weekend; a store, no doubt, but I can't remember where, and they played the old Everly Brothers "All I Have to Do is Dream." For many years, I just associated that song with my dad; some Everly Brothers vinyl was in his collection, and the only place I heard it was at home when he was in the mood to listen to it. Although as a pretty typical Gen-X type, it's not exactly "my" music, I always liked the Everly Brothers, and could appreciate the harmonies and the late 50s steel guitar. It's really a great song, and is probably the best of their oeuvre, although "Wake Up, Little Susie" and "Bird Dog" and "Bye Bye Love"  or even "Crying In the Rain" were also always favorites of mine.

Why did I like songs from the 50s? Well, that was kind of a thing in the 80s, just like nostalgia for the 80s is a strong cultural zeitgeist right now. I've noticed that there is a recurring phenomena where there's a nostalgic zeitgeist for a past period, about a generation ago, where conservatives were running the show (more or less) and the cultural chaos of progressivism was muted. There's a ton of nostalgia for the 80s right now, across generations, and it's probably peaked with the release of the Stranger Things stuff. In the 80s, there was nostalgia for the 50s, probably peaking with the release of Back to the Future where an 80s kid literally goes to the 50s and meets his parents. In the 50s, there was nostalgia for the 20s, probably peaking in the release of Singin' in the Rain

There's also been off-and-on nostalgia for the late 60s, but that seems to be a Boomer specific phenomena, and Generation X and other generations have largely not been all that impressed with those movement. I have a funny feeling that when the last Boomer finally kicks the bucket, the Beatles will be forgotten almost overnight, except in England, where everyone looks towards them for some reason.

Anyway, although I quite like this song by the Everly Brothers, and have happy associations with it from my dad and his record collection, it was also very prominently featured in the absolutely terrible movie Driving In Cars With Boys, which was in turn based on the autobiography of one of the most entitled, unlikable women ever to have been given a public voice. I have no idea why she doesn't have enough dignity to keep her history of non-stop bad judgement, rebellious entitlement, poor decisions and unlikable behavior to herself. It's maybe a little bit commendable... maybe... that the point of the movie (and presumably the book on which it was based, and presumably on the the life on which that was based) that she finally realizes that she's been holding on to bitterness and blaming her father for everything wrong with her life, when he wasn't the source of her problems at all. (It's not clear if she ever actually takes responsibility and blame herself.) One review of the movie laments that Barrymore's performance makes the subject of the biopic seem "abrasive and neglectful rather than headstrong and ambitious" and generates no empathy, because she's just a "sour single mom." In a shockingly (or not, if you know very many Western women) display of tone-deafness, it never occurs to this pained feminist reviewer that there's no other way that her behavior and attitude could possibly come across other than abrasive, entitled, ungrateful, self-absorbed, and neglectful. Those are, unfortunately, the defining characteristics of the bratty little princesses of Western civilization. 

I'm glad that I've been married for almost thirty years now and don't have to navigate that market. I'm also glad my oldest son was able to do so well. My next two boys will have to be very careful to avoid that many landmines that are reasonably pretty girls with narcissistic personalities out there who could ruin their lives.

Anyway, I can't hear this song anymore without thinking of this terrible movie and the terrible person who's life it portrays. I don't want to say that it's completely ruined the song for me, because that's probably overstating it a bit. But it is a cautionary tale on being careful about what associations you allow to be hung on you.

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