Thursday, February 02, 2023

What if...

Velma is—reportedly; I'm not watching this hot garbage—a woke disaster where hateful, petty, envious, resentful, narcissistic all-around terrible person Mindy Kaling inserts herself into a bizarre "adult" version of the Scooby Gang, where Fred is constantly ritualistically humiliated because he's a white male, Daphne is a psychopathic semi-lesbian drug dealer, Shaggy is a beta black guy named Norbert, Scooby doesn't even appear at all, and Velma unintentionally showcases Kaling's spiteful attitudes about white people, her father, and popular guys generally who never gave her the time of day.

But, what if the Scooby Gang, in their original likeable format, were transformed into a fantasy PC party?

I didn't give Velma and Daphne weapons in Hero Forge, but they probably have some kind of gear. Here's how I'd imagine them in the Three Realms of Dark Fantasy X as a less serious iconic group than any I've played around with so far...

Fred is a good-looking, confident, natural leader and athletic guy, capable with his pattern-welded Viking swords. He's well-dressed, reasonably financially comfortable as a kind of country gentry, but his real passion is hunting monsters across the Three Realms.
Daphne is also the daughter of a country gentleman, and her and Fred have known each other since they were children. There's a lot of sexual tension between them (duh) but Daphne isn't a shrinking violet. Am athletic gymnast, I'd represent her as a thief with high DEX and a bold attitude about breaking and entering and other kinds of things that bring trouble to the gang when she's allowed to take the lead.
The daughter of Daphne's father's steward, Velma is represented by an Expert who is extremely well read and chases after illegal occult knowledge. 
Shaggy is another young man, an orphan, who grew up raised by Fred's father's huntsman. He's represented by an Outdoorsman. He's fairly adept with his quarterstaff, but is rather too indolent to prefer to use it. 

Of course, an Outdoorsman has an animal companion, so here's Scoob himself; a massive mastiff. Given that the iconic level peg is an unchanging 4th level, that would put Scoob as a 2 HD creature; represented by wolf stats. 

So yeah... basically they have the same personality and traits, more or less, as the Scooby gang that you actually know, as opposed to the spiteful parody of them that is Velma. Because it's Dark Fantasy X, they've got as much of a darker Harry Dresden kind of vibe to them as they do silly Scooby-doo vibe, but that's OK. That's probably the best way to "update" the Scooby gang to an adult audience anyway, if you're absolutely going to do that.



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